I just had..............
Quite possibly................
the best...............
Manaberry Pancakes ever.
Well I finally met Jaens Mother Jianne. NOT at ALL what I expected. The whole thing...was just crazy from the beginning. I am not ever sure what I am allowed to talk about. She tricked me. That pact was unfair but...I don't understand what she has to hide. Gah this is maddening not being able to write anything...to talk it out. MADDENING. She did give me a small bag and demands that there is a full wedding dress in it. I have yet to open it. I'm afraid actually. But what does matter, is that she eventually gave us her blessing and I really felt like that put everything right in the world for a while. I know Jaen was happy. And that made happy.
So it turns out Mr. Rock is related to Taleal. He sort of revealed himself tonight....in more then one way. At one point he was knocked out and while the Commander was holding him he tried to cop a feel. Mumbling something about metal bras. So many new people joining, it gives me hope that there is still life in the vanguard. Not like it hasn't been exciting enough but. Maybe I should organize some activities. And actually go through with them? Of course then I have to listen to Calthos bitch and moan about everything. Flaunt his useless title around. What is he like Lt. of two people? Hey he made it to top tier good for him but he doesn't have to be a dick about it. I swear I don't care how long I'm in jail I will cut him if he continues to taunt and ridicule Jaen. He doesn't even respect his position! I would give him way more respect if he would at least mask his distaste in public. In private he can be whatever the fuck freaky finger wiggler he wants to. People should take a page from Rock and Jaens book. The will be good friends and I am so glad Jaen has more and more people to turn to. To train with. I wish Jaen would get over his fear of hurting me and duel me once or twice. At least let me show him -how- to defeat someone like me. Rock moves like a rogue. He's very quick for a warrior. He said his mom was a rogue. Explains why he is so pretty. Too pretty and he knows it. Spoiled too maybe. If Jaen could beat him once or twice really well then not only would it give Jaen the boost he needs but it would knock Rock down a peg or two.
I finally talked to Jaen. Told him everything on my mind and he, well I think he told me what was on his. This is changing so fast for him. I'm proud of him and I love his new found dedication but i hate how upset he gets with himself when he gets too angry. Again this might also have something to do with what Jianne was saying. Damnit it all to hell! OK think about something else.
New List: Jaen Peaceroot
He is good with his hands. Artistic almost. It's amazing to watch him work.
He is handsome. Uniquely so.
He is polite.
He is brave.
He has charisma.
Hes well endowed.
He's romantic.
He's smart. Well he's as smart as me and that's enough. <3
Our tastes are similar.
He feels things....love,anger,joy,peace and pain.
He communicates those feelings.
He's not gay. Gods I hope not.
I'm going to fuck something up. I know I am. I'm too happy. My family is too safe. Jaen is too perfect. Why cant I just sit back and enjoy it? Because this world sucks kodo dick. The kind of dick that has been dragging around clumps of shit all day. Something is going to happen. I can feel it like the calm before the storm. I'm empowered enough to say bring it on but pissed off that it has to happen. I haven't done anything -really- stupid in a long time. I think I am going to go digging around in AQ for a little. I need to release this pent up energy. Some of it from stress, some adrenaline but also...an alarming percentage is from pent up sexual energy. I may very well ignite most nights, between our heavy petting and long good night kisses. At least we still sleep in separate bedrooms. What am I doing?
How did Carkel know where I live. I suppose he could of checked records, greased a few palms. But what was his end game? He could have killed Jaen. A dozen ghouls and Carkel? He left him alive. Not that I'm not grateful but now he knows Mel has been rescued or I can assume. I swear I'm going to chop his balls off and make him eat them. If he even has any. If his only endgame is to torture Mel slowly he could go after anyone in the Vanguard. How far is he willing to go?
I need to go to Goldshire. Gotta pick some apples. Roilen would like them. I like her ears.
